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A tortured pitch for torture-free holidays

For starters, we’d be badly remiss if we didn’t include the image that was plastered across the top of this pitch:



With that out of the way, the pitch itself had a great opening line for its recipient, a science writer who doesn’t actually have a show:


The guest, naturally, wasn’t going to talk about science at all.

Happy Torture-Free Holidays!
The Top 5 Ways We Torture Ourselves at the Holidays and
The Simple Ways Not To
The Answers to Finding More Peace, Ease and Genuine Joy at Holiday Times!
Sue Elliott, Founder/Editor-in-Chief of Law of Attraction Magazine and Creator of “Heartfelt Holidays”

Dear [redacted],

Why do we feel so depressed, anxious, fearful, irritated and upset from Thanksgiving to New Year’s? It’s not always the annoying relatives and pressures to meet end-of-year deadlines at work. In fact, our unhappiness seldom comes from outside… Most often what makes us craziest at the holidays is OURSELVES.
Sue Elliott, the Founder/Editor-in-Chief of Law of Attraction Magazine and a leading transformation and power activator coach, says there are five key ways that we torture ourselves at the holidays!
Mastering these are the first steps in making your holidays the joy they were intended to be, and relaxing into peace, ease and fun. Your listeners will learn to watch for these hot buttons, and Sue will offer the shifts they need to make in their attitude in order to regain their equanimity and joy.

Torture #1: Comparing our real families – and the memories of holidays with them – with the “perfect” families we’ve seen in movies and on TV.
Torture #2: Beating ourselves up over gaining weight at the holidays.
Torture #3: Keeping score in gift-giving.
Torture #4: Getting upset every time we have to stand in line.
Torture #5: Trying to buy the “perfect” gifts for people.

And the pitch wrapped up with perhaps the finest closing I’ve yet to see from any PR.

Happy Torture-Free Holidays


To be honest, my audience probably hasn’t pondered that

A helpful reader writes: “I work for a peer-reviewed monthly medical specialty magazine. …your guess is as good as mine.”

Dear [redacted]:

Don’t we all know somebody who is a good and faithful Christian, but whose life is a disaster? Why does this happen to some people and not others? Your audience has probably spent more than a little time pondering this question ― now you can give them some answers. Author Virginia Hull Welch offers practical suggestions for people of faith, and will charm your audience while she’s at it.

Please read the press release below and let me know if I may schedule an interview with Virginia Hull Welch, or send a copy of What to Do When the Blessings Stop ‒ When God Sends Famine, for consideration of a review. Thank you!

The release helpfully informs us that Ms. Welch’s next book, The Hiss from Hell Only Women Hear, will be coming out soon, too. It also offers a “tip sheet” that consists of excerpts from Amazon reviews.

There’s an app for those pants, too

Sent to one of the people who also received the pants pitch:

Hi [redacted] —

I’m writing to suggest a great Thanksgiving segment idea for [your publication] — What NOT to Wear to Meet the Parents.

I’m a publicist for Postelio, a cute app that lets you quickly ask friends and family for their fashion opinions while you’re out shopping – all from your cell.

The holidays – like Thanksgiving – are a stressful time for ladies who will be meeting their man’s parents for the first time. You must find the perfect look to impress his mom and sisters — one that’s fashionable, chic and classy.

What are the exact steps you need to take to really wow his family?

No one will be a better judge of the in-law’s judgment than your significant other. Ask him what his moms and sister’s fashion sense is. Check out Facebook photos from past holidays. If they look like East Coast Blue Bloods, dress conservative. If they’re total ex-Berkeley activists, try hippie chic and go vintage.

Bring one flowery dinner outfit, one semi-sexy outfit for a night on the town with your guy, and one laid back combo for that Sunday morning stroll with his mom. Tiny skirts are best left at home – because you don’t want them to think you’re Miley’s doppelganger – and don’t channel Lady Gaga with uncomfortable fashion ensembles that will just make Granny give you side eye.

Pack tons of great accessories, especially a statement necklace to glam up any normal outfit. Stella & Dot pieces, for example, can enrich any holiday outfit.

We know you can’t bring your fashionable friends that weekend to help you find your perfect outfit. But you can send them your fashion selfies and ask them for advice. Postelio is the perfect app to quickly and discreetly ask your friends for fashion advice.

I can help arrange an interview on this topic with Postelio’s Ameena Syeda about dressing your best when meeting the parents. She is available for phone or Skype interviews this week, November 25.

If you’re interested in a guest blog post from Ameena, let me know as well.